Volcanic Eruptions

Kitchen Duty

I'm on kitchen duty today, as usual. I get so tired of the repetitive aspect of housewifery. I've been so resentful of Lelands smaller role in the household duties (IMHO), his getting up with the girls in the morning makes a such a huge difference. I finally feel like I dont m ind doing the parts that I get left with because he puts them to bed every night and gets up with them on the week days. I dont have to bite my toungue when the PBJ gets left out in the morning. HOWEVER it does not make me enjoy doing the dishes and scraping left over cereal of the counters.
Im rushing through this morning so we can get to the museum and still get back by 5 PM for work. So I better get a move on!..........
Alright I've done the bare minimum of houswork, now Im in pretty nice load of pain from overuse of my wrist. I have no Idea how Im going to get through this evening when i can barely load the dishwasher.

Sunday Sunday

Gosh, all I wanted to do today is sit on the porch and deep fry a turkey. I woke up at 11 (2 hours late for getting up at a decent hour) and promptly remember out of the blue that I have to work tonight at the resturaunt. I DO NOT want to, not really at all. BUT if I work tonight, Tuesday and Friday I think i may be able to buy a brand new WASHING MACHINE!!! I find it alittle sad that a washing machine has replaced the trampoline in excitment levels - ah to be an adult, those fucking prioriies always taking over. Another $300 item Im awful excited about is Grass sod for my entire back yard, my opinion is it takes precedence over the washing machine, but thats probably not practical. practical isnt all its cracked up to be!

Lights Out

We had quite the adventure last night, without leaving the house! Im going to try not to get ranty about this because I was fairly pissed off yesterday. We had out Electriciity turned off from yesterday morning till sometime (hopefully sooner than later) today. There was a misunderstanding (they told me the wrong thing) while we were having the account swirched from our landlords name into ours, because we're trying to buy the house. So after fighting with the freaking 3 women (read asshole bitches) who all tell me something different I finally decided to break out the all the candles and just camp out. We got pizza and stole alittle 'juice' from our neighbors and all cuddled in for a movie. I fell asleep rather imediatley, so my only adventure was making coffee this morning, in the BEDROOM! I just hope it gets turned on fairly early today cause the place is a mess and I could sure use the vaccuum! In general though, I wish I was less power hungry and dependant. A french press, maybe some battery powered lanterns, for the kids room. I was pretty siked that I do have 2 candle powered lanterns that the kids could have with them, it helped that they could go into their rooms to get stuff without fear of flames gulping theie heads off.
Im off to do what I can with a broom!

puppy power

Download P0002777.JPG

Quintessa with the ears up, and Magnus the rolie Polie

clean, naturally

So I've kicked the cleaners out the window. its just the basics for me from now on. I feel good about it, Im looking forward to having a dirty house to clean. and no more paper towels. this is stuff Ive always wanted to do and now that we're SO broke I can finally justify it to the rest of the household.
I nEED to get my iBook bak. Im lost having t o sit at the desk.

much ado about nothing

I havent been posting much lately. I like to blame it on summer, but its probably more that Im depressed. Im unmotivated. Im miserable and crankyand mean. I have no car and no money. I am pretty happy about my lack of working though! I now rotate and work friday/tues every other week. Its kinda funny though cause it tool me a few weeks to realize that Im actually pretty damn good at housekeeping and cooking! All I had to do was quit the 3 other jobs I have! I feel bad for me, thinking I could do all those things, keep a house, be a good mom, homeschool on top and not be totally fucking nuts! But the unfortunate thing is that I'm still fucking nuts! the weather looks nice so far today, i wonder what we'll do!?

The Shit Truck

We recently converted our back shed into a ....well my mother calls it an outdoor livingroom. Its cool and we tore a wall out to make it open to the yard. We have a couch and card table, theres a bar. no stools yet though. So we were all talking about what the shed was used for cause theres holes in the floor and it had 3 doors - one for each side (duplex) and one in the back. Leland was talking to the neighbor who is 93 and was BORN in the house next door ( and I mean home birth born in the house) and SHE told us that it was an out houes, and thats why all the old houses have them AND the dit road that runs behind all thehouses on the street was for the shit truck to come. Weird.

later that day....

I went to the river (head hangs), Im so ashamed. I need to clean. Now I have to go to work. sigh. I did accomplish some

dishes- unload/ reload/ unload
Laundry- unload
counters
recycling out, no replacement

and I made the grocery list as a bonus

Spring Cleaning

Ok I havent cleaned in like 2 weeks. We started a whole room change cause we picked up some hand me down bunk beds that the kids wanted. well the whole house has been disasterous ever since. We're having a good sized potluck on Sunday Night so is HAS to be cleaned. Between today(before work) and tomorrow afternoon (after bowling playdate) I have to do a shit load of work. From 11:30-12:30 Im going to clean straight and not stop. Usaully that makes a pretty big impact. If I can get the downstairs clean I think Ill feel allot better.
Heres my list

dishes - unload, reload
counters
laundry - unload, reload (fold?)
Pick up floor, Vaccuum
Mop
Bathroom
recycling out and fresh empty recyling bins

Wish me luck!

Panic attacts

I have had 2 severe panic attacks in the last 2 days. Mostly brought about by the fact that I need to spend $1600 (anxiety to start) on my teeth (anxiety to the extreme). SO when i start thinking about it a;ll I start adding in buying the house and trying to take this $300 class (that I am no longer able to take). Calling the school and explaining why Althea has miss almost half of the second quarter before they get DSS involved. Asking Lee to share that responsiblitly and getting a resounding NO WAY from him. This part of the issue I resolved by calling and telling the school that she wouldnt be attending any longer. No high anxiety there - I just have to put it in writing. Whew. So Althea is an official homeschooler once again....thank goodness.
Im having a hard time at home (ie with lee) because Im nitpicking onall these little things that dont matter at all because my unlying feelings are hurt but his indiffernce to my panic attacks and other mental matters. I feel like he isnt really there for m e when I need him, then I feel like maybe thats not his responsiblity....then I feel like I would have to leave and have no one in order tolearn how to not lean on others when I need support, how to deal by myself. BUT i dont want to leave. I just dont want to have someone and still feel so alone. AHHH whoknows. Im depressed, Im sad. On te positive side - he has been talking with me and we've been argueing (which means hes not just sitting there not saying anythiin) so thats progress.